I know, my wounded Followers, that I've used this expression before but it has never been more relevant than is regards to the fucking fiasco; The Braves didn't win this game, we lost it. we fucking handed it to them. Fuck, of course Mike Zagurski is going to give up a 2-run jack to travelling eater Eric Hinske in the11th to blow it beyond our feeble reach, that's not how it was squandered. We had every chance in the fucking universe to win this game last night. I will keep this short as not to induce any further vomiting on my part and only highlight the single most pathetic passage of ball-dropping,dick-holding Phillies play displayed last night .
It's the bottom of the 7th and we're down a run. We've scored only 2 runs on a howling line-drive home run off the bat of Raul Ibanez in the bottom 1st. He's up first this frame and somehow draws a walk from Braves starter Jair Jurrjens. Next up in the worn thing line-up is Ryan Howard, The Big Fucking Piece. He works the count full and then smokes a ball that should've been the game winner off the top of the left field wall just missing the glove of Matt Diaz. It's a triple, Ibanez scores and the game is tied at 3-3. Fuck yes. There are no outs and a man on 3rd. There is NO FUCKING WAY that we are NOT driving in the game winning run. Just typing that makes me fucking ill again. Such hope.....
Up to the plate comes Jayson Werth (or former shell of) to face that fat bogan Peter Moylan. I'm not gonna draw it out, he strikes out looking. LOOKING!!! Just put it into fucking play, asshole!!! SWING, DO SOMETHING!!!
Whatever, there's 1 out, still an opportunity to score Howard on a sac.
Benny Francisco steps up and does what he's supposed to do just not deep enough. He flies out to shallow center, way too shallow to score hunkering Howard and the game is stuck in neutral. FUCK!!!! 2 outs.
Up next is Wilson Valdez. He doesn't put up much of a fight and chops one to Chipper Jones at 3rd almost beating out the throw. Good hustle but no fucking cherry. Inning over and our game shelf-life was over.
We never scored that 4th fucking run and drew it out over 4 more excruciating innings to end up parking on cocksucker lane. 3-6, knaves F/11. Fuck you all.
All this on top of a fucking brilliant start from Cole Hamels. 8K, 3 earned and no whiny shit. He fucking held it down so hard for the 7 he pitched and any shit-talking that comes from his lips as a result of this putrid loss is AOK with me. I'll agree with him. He has free reign to slag any and every motherfucker on that team, especially Victorino who went 1-5, finally getting that magical infield single with 2 outs in the bottom of the 11th trailing by 3.
You fuckers should be ashamed of yourselves.
Adorable TBSS correspondent Chuck Meehate attended this garbage. Here's what he had to say:
Sometimes you have to steal a win and this was ripe for the taking. It's not that they didn't deliver, it's how. Werth feebly looking at 3 called strikes with a go-head run at third and no outs and Victorino swinging for the fences and getting under a 2-0 pitch. Now the Phils are back on death watch. This has been a drag following them these last 6-7 weeks. Either listless losses or boring blowouts.
This one really hurt. I'm sure it hurt us all. We have one more chance tonight to remove the final nail and hammer from the hands of the knaves. We win, we're OK. We lose, we're fucked. Last time these fucks saw Jamie Moyer they were demoralized by being the team to be shutout by the oldest man on earth. He hasn't slowed down one fucking bit since then so if LawnMoyer Man can't do it then fucking no one can. We're just gonna have to play better for Jamie than we did for Cole.
Here, watch this video by upbeat country singer Iris DeMent and feel better:
She's a Follower.
Fuck new york, fuck our offense, fuck the braves and love everyone, even in the pit.