Monday, July 5, 2010

July 4 2010 PHI v PIT Game 4. Firecracker Up Our Collective Dick

                                                     Do I have to say it?

Well,'s official. We're fucked. Truly fucked. I know that every year we do the Pirates series and every year we play like vaginas but this was inexcusable shit. A large steaming pile of homeless man wall-shit. That's when you see a homeless guy leaning up against the wall of a building with his pants down shitting. For some reason they do this. Don't ask me why but I've sprung many a houseless man leaning against the back wall if a Wawa mid-movement. They always just have that look of defeat on their faces like "Yep, I'm shitting outside against a wall, blow me."

I just have one simple question about this game for Chollie; why the fuck was there not a single pitcher warming up in the 7th? You know Fat Joe's arm has an expiration date of 6 innings. The second he gives up 1 hit you can just stick a fork in his ass cause he's roached. It happens every game, if Blanton can make it to the 7th frame you know the second he's hit--BOOM--the levee breaks and we're fucked.

Take yesterday's game for example. He has one bad inning settling in but for most of the game he's trucking along nicely with 5-2 lead. Then the 7th inning rolls up and the first pitch Blanton tosses gets roped over the right-center fence. It was fucking smoked. At this point good ol' boy should've been yanked but the fucking bullpen was all crickets. Immediately everyone, Chollie included, knew we were fucked. Wheels and McCarthy put their swords away and mildly panicked, the crowd became hushed since it was mostly Phils fans. Impending Doom. Sending up Dubee can only stay the execution for so long.

Then the next pitch comes off the tips and is smoked for a basehit. Fuck, how long does Contreras need? Can we fake injury delay? FUCK!!!! The next pitch comes: strike! Pheeeeeeeew! That was getting ugly. Let's see what gonna happ....WHAM! His fourth pitch is rammed off the wall for a double. Now we fucking have men on 2nd and 3rd and still no outs.

This all took place in under 2 minutes.

By the time Jose Contreras was warm he had this fucking big mess to clean up with one out. The first batter he faced, some fucking scrub, hit one the opposite way and the lead was gone. He gave up one more run and Chubby (lovingly) Mike Zagurski gave up 2 more. Roll over, Beethoven. Phils lose 5-8 again to the worst team in the National League.

This all could've been avoided had someone, anyone been reading to go in the 'Pen at the time that most knows is Blanton's due date for a shit-baby. He's a starter that goes a solid 6, it's a well know fact, at least this season. This game was ours for the taking. 4th of July was ruined. Uncle Sam cries, Uncle Sharkey sighs......

Now we are 5 games back from 1st and 3 out of the wildcard. This sure isn't the way to start a hot streak.  Roy Halladay has the ball tonight against the knaves' Derek Lowe, a pitcher we can rape. This is our best shot to get this fucking thing started right. We're exactly where we were last year, record-wise but we're gonna have to pick up our game if were gonna salvage this junk. That is if the the mets and braves don't eat serious shit between now and September but that doesn't look like it's gonna happen, at least on the braves end. It's Cox's last year and they want to go out with a huck-buck-bang for the old fuck. We need to pick it up if we want to stop that from happening. I know I want it stopped.

Fuck new york and fuck Bobby Cox.



  1. They better get on the damn stick starting now. If the Phils cant take at least 2 of 3 at home against Atlanta with Doc, Hamels and Moyer getting the starts then it may just be time to start paying attention to the wild card standings.

  2. I don't know what the Phils need to do to turn this around, but it can't be this.