Good morning, Followers. Shit, I was getting worried there that we were gonna go on a Giants-esque billion game losing streak there for a second. With all the bad injury vibes floating around like turds in the hot tub it sure seemed feasible. Moral was low and the offense was scarce, a complete lack of confidence. Good thing our ace, Kyle Kendrick, stepped up to the fucking plate--literally and figuratively--with his career first Complete Game and what a game it was. A12-4 win in which he only gave up 10 hits, 3 runs, 1 debut home run and this adorable little scamp even whacked a double into the left field corner to become RBI fodder for Rollins an at-bat later. I know I've been hard on the boy for his last few starts but today's marginal effort really fucking wiped the slate clean.
The Phils finally brought some fierce offense against the weak Pirates with 15 hits,12 runs and long homers from J-Roll and Benny Francisco, his first of the season and Roll's career 150th. Even triple-a call-up, Cody Ransom got in on the action with an RBI single through the hole into left during the big 5 run 3rd inning. Everybody hit fucking big but it seems that maybe they were trying to overcompensate for the piss-weak 5 runs they've scored in the previous 3 games. The question that I and I'm sure many other Followers out there have asked in many previous times like these is Can we please just disperse these run evenly over a series or do we have to be shutout for 2 days to score 12 runs? I would be perfectly happy with a 7-4 win if we could've tossed the remaining 5 onto the fire of the Moyer and Hamels starts. I'm not trying to pull negativity out of our housing of a shitty team but that's just the thing; The Pirates suck this year, every game WE play against them should be a 12 run game. It's a legitimate concern. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised and nonetheless heart broken if we went out there today....FUCKING 4th OF MOTHERFUCKING JULY.....and lost by a run. We need consistency, even in times of pain and roster loss. Utley and Polanco will be back soon enough but for now the remainder have to fucking destroy the opposition if you want me to continue to rant and rave into brisk October breezes. We have the talent, let's knock off the girl-shit an use it!
As much as I worry about this garbage it's still great to see the boys knocking the shit around. That fucking 3rd inning rally was a true display of beauty. It felt like the old days, you know, 8 weeks ago. Just fucking slaying the ball, batter after batter. The only innings we went down quitely were the 8th and 9th framse after surely sealing things. Everyone contributed, even the little guys. We showed very little weakness for a team "riddled with injuries and doubt" says EPSN. Fuck 'em. Fuck you, Buck Showalter, we'll do it ourselves!
In lieu of being in a respectable setting on my fine country's birthday, I decided to take part in the one aspect of Canberra living that I truly embrace with every fibre of my being. I went to see the fucking Canberra Raiders play!
note: The 4th of July is a day earlier due to time zone nonsense and for some reason not celebrated on this heathen continent.
The Raiders are Canberra's NRL or National Rugby League team and they are fucking insane. Their mascot in a rapist viking that encourages crowd violence toward supporters of visiting teams and their uniform consists of nothing but explosive lime green. It's fucking awesome. Their fucking nick name is The Green Machine. Everything about them is perfect except for their playing. They truly stink but are nonetheless the most enjoyable part of inhabiting this rotten boil. They are everything a Philly-boy away from home would need in a professional sports team. The supporters are crass, unrefined and diehard, the cheerleaders (dubbed The Raiderettes, please check out their profiles) are all 17 years old and toothless and the seats are cheap. There is a fucking guy who shows up every weekend wielding a sign adorned with a pun on the team captain's name. His name is Terry Campese, pronounced camp-easy. The fucking sign reads CAMPESE CHAMPESE. Fuck yeah, alright! I am what you call a Green-Eyed Supporter. I will miss these fuckers for sure once I get paroled.
Champese doing his thing
Today the Raiders were pitted up against the rival Sydney Roosters. The Chooks picked up a former Raider by the name of Todd Carney who at the end of last years season was let go by the club for being too much of a handful off the field. He was routinely arrested for urinating in the middle of night club dance floors and fighting 8 year old girls. He's a fucking great player and I wish we still had him.
My wife and child with Victor out front of Canberra Stadium. How can I compete with this guy?
To clear this up quickly because I'm sure a lot of my Followers are not as worldly with their sport as I, The Game of Rugby League is simple. It's a group of enormous dudes trying to run past a group of other enormous dudes. You have 6 tackles or downs to get from one end of the field to the other. You cannot pass forward, only laterally or to the rear of you and it sort of looks like a game commonly referred to in the States as Smear The Queer. If you touch the the ball down in the other team's endzone this is called a Try, not a touchdown and is worth 4 points. If you kick a conversion or "extra point" as they call it in NFL you get 2 points. OK?
Of all the fucking seat in the 30,000 capacity arena, a get sat 2 seats away from this fucking dude:
Also, today they had a kid who was seriously "5 years old" riding around on a fucking 4-wheeler circling the ground high-fiving the little tykes hanging over the front row:
We lost of course, 12-22 to those Sydney pricks but I don't give a shit. It was good to leave the house and smell the smells of men on men action being played infront of thousands of screaming bogans for hard-earned cash. I'll be giving a full game report Raiders clash against the New Castle Knights on July 18th so be on the lookout like Green Day. I just wanted to give you Followers a little taste of the good stuff before diving in head first. Do some independent research. Go you Raiders!!!!
Today Big Joe will be tossing the goods against another losing pitcher in an afternoon showdown and series close-out with the Bucs. Yet again, a must win situation for The Fightin's. We need momentum heading back home and into battle with confedrates and their lovable hound dog , Bobby Cox. We can't let these Bucs show us up on one of our fucking days. The fucking Cradle Of Liberty must rock. Cornier words were seldom spoke. Until tomorrow fuck new york and let's all continue to laugh at K-Rod for being as reliable as Lidge against the Nats yesterday! HAHAHAAHA!!!