Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 21 2010 PHI v STL Game 3. Let's Laugh Away The Woes

Seriously, I'm not going to even give the Phillies the satisfaction of making me come up with a clever and witty way to say "you stink". They just fucking stink right now. It's ok, it happens. That's baseball. Ordinary Joe takes his ordinary loss and Ryan Howard continues to be the only reason to turn the fucking game on. The uninspired ball I've been seeing on that field isn't even compelling enough for me to articulate the dog-fucking that's been going down since the All-Star break. 1-6.....eeeeesh. Until they start playing like the men we know they are I'm gonna deflect and laugh at the sufferings of others and oddities from around the rest of the league.

First we'll start with a light laugh at Charlie Hustle himself, Pete Rose. As I watched the boring Nationals/Reds game yesterday on ESPN before that buttfuck went down in St. Louis, I caught this interesting shot of the all time hits leader. Man, it's been a funny year for Pete. First the corked bat controversy and now this. Would you look at that goofy fucking hat?  I bet if you buy that hat you get a free bowl of soup! Even Jay-Z wears the standard On-Field jawn.

Uh, oh! He's knows he's been spotted! Don't move, stand still! Just play dead!

Ah, fuck it! He's the fucking King Of Hits, he can where whatever the fuck he wants. When I'm his age I'll probably show up to fucking games in Phillies footy pajamas caked in tears. Rock on with your wiggery self, Pete! We here at TBSS salute you! Never forget '80.

Next we'll have a good hardy gut laugh at one of the most singular pleasure someone from Philadelphia or any NL east city could feel, The Billy Wagner Blown Save. HAHAHAHHAHA, suck shit!!! You went into the 9th with a 2 run lead but gave up a solo shot to Scott Hairston, let his brother Jerry single and then let Yorvit Torreabla double him in only to eventually lose 6-4 in 12! You old dickhead.

I really have little time for modern boxing, especially when white poeple do it, but this fight seems to have gotten a few bookie's and punter's goat down here on Penis Island. 29 second into the IBO cruiserweight world title showdown Aussie fighter Danny Green "knocked out" Aussie diver Paul Briggs. In a quote taken from Green post-bout, apparently Briggs is "a dog and is not getting paid" Sure he isn't, scholar. The Australian bookmakers Centrebet reportly had a massive spike in first round knock wagers dropping the odds to $5 to. You do the math.

Lastly, F's, we're gonna laugh at the mets, oh yeah! These finger-puppets went into the 14th inning with the D-Backs last night tied at 3 only to lose on a Chris Snyder single. How demoralizing? A team as awesome as the mets has to dance for 5 hours with a team 19 games back in the NL west only to be deported back to Flushing by a substitute catcher. If the Phillies are sucking the pigment out of the dogshit festering on your stepmother's floor, the mets sure as hell aren't playing any better. This makes me happy. It should make you, the Phillies fan, happy, as well.

                                                          Look at the joy....ahhh to win, to win. 

Tonight the only consolation we can hope for is avoiding a sweep. Cole Hamels vs Adam Wainwright. Fuck me..... That's not a "fuck me" of resignation due to the pitching match-up--I have quite the faith in Colio these days--but I just can't see any way for runs to be produced other than maybe Big Piece hitting 4 solo shots. That seems to be our speculated maximum scoring output unless Rollins gets a lead-off walk or Victorino, whos been smoking it lately, smacks one and then Howard jacks one. I know we can do better but it's fucking grim. The only positive story Deb Rinaldi could fucking muster running across my Phillies news ticker is a puff about the fucking ballgirls rebuilding some shitty house. It's real grim. Fuck new york and, Followers, remember.....

All the shit that gets thrown around on this blog and all the struggles and strife the boys are going through right now mean nothing in the end. We're still The Phillies, the greatest sporting team to grace the face of this Earth. Nothing else matters. We'll get better and we'll get worse. Let's have some fun with it while we can. Go Phils, forever.


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