Friday, July 30, 2010

July 30 2010 PHI v WSH Game 1. Cry About It, You Wimps

Roy Oswalt's first start as a Phillie went a little bit astray to intended plan of attack. Yeah, it was shit. He worked 6 innings, gave up 5 runs 4 earned and looked like a frustrated 10 year old playing Zelda against Washington starter Craig Stammen, a scrub at best. Oswalt's first pitch was even laced into the gap in right center by Nyger Morgan for a triple. Yeah, that was pretty shit.

But before you all start whining about Cliff Lee and bemoaning the loss of J.A. Happ, an ordinary pitcher, let's hark back to the start our duly missed ace, Clifton Lee, brought to the table for Texas in his first appearance in a Rangers uni. He was lumped up by Baltimore for 6 runs. BALTIMORE, a class AA team at best, at least this year. Cliff Lee? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT THE MIGHTY CLIFF LEEEEEEE!!!!! Shit happens, he's still Cliff Lee and Roy Oswalt is still Roy Oswalt. Get over it.

Before you internet crucify him for his first outing we should look at a few factor that could've contributed to such a lack luster start by Os.

He didn't exactly have time to settle into his new role as Messiah. He basically stepped off the plane in Washington, drove to the park, suited up and walked onto the field to warm up. People bitching and moaning about how he's supposed to deliver us from evil with attitudes like "Hey awesome monkey man, go be awesome, faggot!" would probably crumble under this kind of pressure. I mean imagine mop duty for 6 months and then being asked to work the frier? Yes, he's a professional and should be read to go at any time but it's a little unreasonable.

Secondly, where the fuck was all that offense we've been coming with as of late? 1 fucking run from Werth's Homer in the 7th, after Oswalt was taken out, is all we could shimmy up the fucking pipe? Putrid garbage hacking and grounding riddled the entire game against a pitcher we've previously murdered in the ass.This wasn't just a shit outting by a starting pitcher, wit was a team effort. a big toilet full of every team member's shit.

Carlos Ruiz' fucking throw to 3rd on a bunt with NO ONE COVERING FUCKING 3RD had a little bit to do with this game going down the crapola hole. Bottom 3rd, runners on 1st and 2nd and one of those Nationals fucking bunts up the 3rd baseline, Greg Dobbs--instead of charging the ball-- dances out of the way into foul ground for Choochie to throw the ball into left field and Stammen came into to score. Seriously, Los, I love you but fucking look where you're fucking throwing. That was just embarrassing. Just think about how bad you're gonna get bagged out on Sportcenter and that Spanish AM station.

Whatever the reasons or circumstance that added up to this shit-cocktail none of them adequately excuse it, especially in a professional realm. Os gets this game as a buffer. If in 5 days he looks the part of the frustrated monkey trainer we've got fucking problems.

Meanwhile as I defend Oswalt, Happ goes 6 scoreless in his Houston debut against the Brewers. Big fucking deal.....We'll just have to do better. Fuck new york and get over Cliff Lee, he's gone.


P.S. Miguel Bautista was right..... If I paid for Strasburg and got this I'd want a refund, too.

Jokes, baby, jokes....

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