Well, Followers, if he ain't mad he's definitely fucking confused. The soft spoken, respectful ace of the Rockies pitching staff, Ubaldo Jiminez, went 2+ innings, walked 6 and earned 6 runs. Kyle Kendrick, a pitcher sent down to triple-a just 5 days prior for giving up 3 home runs in one innings to the Cardinals and overall being a weak and ordinary arm, went 7 strong innings with 3 Ks, 1 BB and 1 earned run. What the fuck, is this fucking Bizarro-World we are living in?
When asked about pitching in Philly, Jiminez showed no attempt to hide his praise for the fans and their adamant heat that they bring onto the opposition.
"I love the fans," Jimenez said. "They're on you even when you start to warm up, and they don't stop. 'We're going to kill you.' 'You're not going to last five innings.' It's like Fenway."...
Well, the young gun surely felt that heat as he only lasted 3 inning, the last of which he didn't even record a single out. A single to J-Roll, walks to Polly and Raul followed by the big cockspurt of pain heard round the mountain range. The Big Piece smashed a triple down the right field line clearing the bases giving the men a 3-0 lead. Only one pitch later did Jayson Werth try to call time out, not get time granted, and watched Jiminez' pitch sale wide and wild for Big Piece to steal home. 4-0. My dong is still erect. Are you kidding me? The most feared pitcher in the National League and we've just taken his ass for a ride? What else would happen, Phils?
We lumped him up for 2 more plus 1 for that inning. Rooster got knocked in by Greg Fucking Dobbs and J-Roll hit another fucking triple knocking in Schneider and Victorino to bring the 30 minute inning's damage to 7 runs. Somebody must've been reading my rant about RSP from yesterday's post....wink, wink, Greg Gross.....
Another 2-run roper from The Raul, an RBI single from J-Roll and a clean performance from newcomer, Vance Worley, who made his first major lead appearance in yesterday's game for the close, brought things to a nice and cozzy end at 10-2. Like I said before, what fucking universe am I living in? GO FUCKIN' FIGHTIN'S! Show 'em who's fucking still boss!
Despite Ubaldo being apart of a savage and soul-less expansion team he's a great sportsman and a great, pure talent. A rare breed these days. The fact that he upped the Philly fan and took his kocks like a man shows he'll be a great asset to the world of baseball. Meanwhile we are inundated with some roided up buttfinger trying to achieve his 600 hundredth HR every 5 second as the MLB network sucks A-Cup's inferior male counterpart. Seriously, people who care about this should join NAMBLA.
Ubaldo, we here at TBSS salute the fuck out of you. Of course I'd be writing you a death threat of you aced us but that's a whole other potato:
J.A. Happ makes his first start today since April. His numbers in the minors have been less than stellar. By less than stellar I mean cocoa the monkey could do better. I fucking hope he's leaving that all behind for a quick return to almost rookie of the year dominance. Until next time fuck new york and protect your wetlands.