Tuesday, August 31, 2010
August 30 2010 PHI v LAD Game 1. Just Like Pearl Harbor
Well, Followers! Do our Phillies not remember what happened on December 7th, 1941? Have they forgotten so soon the horrific events that took place on that fateful winter's afternoon? No, you think they haven't? Neither do I.
But then why the fuck would they allow Hiroki Kuroda to practically reenact those butt-fucking atrocities in front of a paying crowd full of fine U.S. citizens that came to see a baseball game, The Great American Pastime?
Wait, this game was in LA so let me re-phrase that query.
How the fuck could the Phils let that prick basically make us re-live the atrocious fucking nightmare of Pearl Harbor in front of a crowd that consisted of maybe, at most 30% American citizens? My dear F's....I just don't fucking know anymore.
I kid, I kid.....
Hoagie of Desperation.....
9 fucking innings of baseball and all the motherfucking 2 consecutive NL championship team can muster is one lousy hit, AGAIN! Really, it's not like this has been a rare occurrence this season. I can recall 2 other times off the top of my head. Back in May when Dice-K worked us for 8 until Juan Castro's blooped a single and then again just 2 weeks ago when that fruit with the cum-catcher on his face, R.A. Dickey, allow a single hit off the bat of fucking Cole Hamels. Granted no one is going to remember these games except for nerds so I can't really justify seething such hatred but it still feels better than saying to myself "yuck-yuck, it's just a game" because that would be a fucking lie. It's just pitiful play. I'm not even gonna list reasons why we're better than this.
I'll tip my red cap to Kuroda, though, folks. He pitched a hell of a game. The Pearl Harbor shit really was a bit overzealous, analogically speaking. I'm still happy Victorino smacked the only hit of the game in the 8th to spoil your little fun but you do deserve the credit for an outing of brilliance. Fuck you, too.
It's not like Halladay pitched all that bad, either. 3 runs in 7 inning was a quality start last I checked. Just figured I'd mention it. He wasn't great but he wasn't shit.
Ryan Howard gets the honor of being the first recipient of TBSS's latest decoration, The Retard Boner of the Game Award, for his piss-poor hustle in the first 2 innings. I think every fucking hit in those 2 innings-- save for the Carroll lucky flop-up that landed just fair--whizzed right past or under your glove. And don't gimme and "I'm still on the mend from injury" horseshit. If that's the case you fucking get back down to Clearwater. With your reach those fucking grounders should've been sure outs and it resulted in dodgers crossing the plate. We could've had a 1 or 2 run game going into the late innings but since you decided to phone it in they figured our weakness and played on it. C'mon, my man. You got more class than those bums.
Also you may have noticed our newest gadget on the right-hand column; The Howard Slump Tracker. I don't know about you but this timing bullshit is getting to be a tired excuse. When's the fucking dam gonna break, huh?
I demand full retribution for these fucking crimes against humanity, Kendrick. Man the fuck up and give us a solid show. It's been a while. Last time you face these turds you got sat down pretty fucking quick and gave up maybe 70 runs. For yourself, if anything, you should want to smoke these chodes.
Fuck new york and fuck new york for being the worst team on earth. The worst batting average as a team after the All-Star break..... Of course they're not even gonna put up a fight down in atlanta. Not even for their own dignity and self respect. Weak.
PS. At least none of us are British.