Now this is the fucking Roy Oswalt I'm talking about. This little motherfucker goes 7 strong, K's 5 and allows not a single run to cross home plate. This fresh off the back of a 15 run melee' surrendered to Dodgers and their poor, weak record of defeat at CBP....Welcome home my ass, the place is yours! Here are the keys, that's my daughter and here is a hoagie. Enjoy!
The ferocity in which Oswalt pounds the strike zone is no bullshit, this fucker can toss. His proneness to unravelling was absent in yesterday's 2-0 victory, in which the Mississippi Murderer took no shit from any single wimpy Dodger, especially that poofta Andre Ethier. Doesn't he have some shitty brunch-time folk to torture a barista into screwing him with anyways? Ethier, much like most of the opposition, went down hitless in 4 attempts on the road toward Oswalt's first W in a Phillies uni! Booyah, Os!
The fucking faggoty injury fairy visited the Phillies clubhouse again yesterday claiming the groin of one Gloss Load, the man who's been on a fucking tear covering for Big Piece as he wallows on the DL (or six flags, hahaha. Into it!). He knocked a double in what would be the second RBI of the night and pulled up into second with a blown tire, Phils trainers helped the headbanger off the field. Now it's up to recent acquisition and fellow headbanger, Mike Sweeney, to pull up sack and do the good work at 1st. Get well, Rossy. You get the Hoagie tonight, my man.
Good news on this front, though with word that Chutley is ready to start batting and rehab starts. Finally some of these missing pieces will start healing back into place.
Raul Fucking Ibanez gets himself another hit in his 18 game streak by delivering the RBI wallop double off the centefield wall to drive in the pinch running Mike Sweeney and give the Phils a 2-0 fucking lead, all they would need to shutout the Dodgers.
Brad Lidge gave us a little of that old style with this 1-2-3 fuck 'em up, shut 'em up action, fanning Gibbons and Carrol with his often missed slider. Fucking filthy! Where the fuck is that command those OTHER times, Brad? You're teasin mah nuts.
As promised, Followers.... The video tutorial on how to drain a big fluid sack protruding from my ass.... Enjoy your vomit!!!
Oh yeah, I guess I can't have a good hardy chuckle at KY-Rod for getting arrested after yesterday's mets loss to the rockies for beating up his father-in-law. What a way to just continue the douche parade that is the mets trudge through life. God, what a miserable existence. Good job, you dopey fuck. Now I guess you and Johan can discuss litigation together aside from sucking. For more info read here. I like the tone of this piece.
Tonight we go for victory. Blanton has been pitching better and we're not about to roll over for weaklings, not even ones who bang Rihanna. Fuck new york and get a good lawyer, this system will kill ya.