Monday, August 9, 2010

August 8 2010 PHI v NYM Game 3. Destroy The Weak With The Hoagie Of Heat

My dear Followers, it's great to be back from the death house! Really, I love any chance to watch a soft gaggle of wimps get annihilated under the heels of a supposedly injury weakened side. Another series won, another ESPN announcer eating crow, another sad loser from flushing. With the clinch of the new york series yesterday, The Phillies are brought to a 14-3 in their last 17 games. I understand this number is arbitrary but I have no care in the world for your thoughts on my trivial numbers games. We've won every game except for 1 in the month of August and I for one am glad to be alive.

Roy Halladay had what some would call a very "Un-Halladay" outing yesterday. While still recording his 14th win and 10 fucking Ks, he allowed 5 earned runs and looked visibly shaken in his approach nearing the last of his 111 pitch outing. Whilst many love to heap accolades to the Big Roy I'm gonna take a much necessary pass and dobb (seriously, no pun intended) it all over a few of my friends with bats in their hands.

After HallaRoy gave up 2 cheap and tawdry mets runs in the first things had to be done to destroy the virus in blue and orange. Jayson The Fucking Rooster Werth sent a towering blow into deep center to make the first dent into met's start R.A. Dickey. I wish the R stood for Richard. This pitcher we've faced before to nil result, I truly had cause for concern as he's been, thus far and tellingly, the mets fucking most reliable starter. What a gag. A fucking junk-ball tosser holding his head higher than Big Pelf or Golf Course Jizzer. I guess its not that far-fetched.

This fear soon dissipated into the afternoon sky as The Boys batted around in the bottom of the 3rd with the zenith being today's Hoagie Of Heat winner, RAUUUUUUUUUUUULLL  FUCKING IBANEZ' monster fucking 3-run jack into deep center. This continues Raul's 16 game hitting streak of dominance and strength. The Fightin's would go on to score 5 that inning and sit mr. dickie-do on his ass a little earlier than expected. This joy is unquantifiable. Fuck the mets.

After running through the mets bullpen and HallaRoy almost giving up the farm in a series of weak innings, the game sat at 6-5, Phils come the top 8th. Mad-Dog had a clean inning of work and Brad Lidge, with an unhealthy one-run buffer, gave us the shakes but gave us the save. He made his little happy fist pump face, too.

As promised, here is a photo of day one's drainage bag progress. Tomorrow I'll be posting a tutorial on how to un-vac one of these bad-boys and drain the fucker. Should be a hootenanny, F's. I know you won't fucking miss it!

We got tonight off but some LA bums are heading our way. Nothing to do but drain puss and watch the atl, sf or nym lose. Either way we win. Yesterday's sf loss to atl brought us further from division title but .5 games out of the NL wildcard. Keep it up, sf! Fuck new york and God Bless America.

I'll be home September 5th on. Anyone who wants to attend a Phils game with The Master please get in touch.


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