Saturday, August 21, 2010

August 20 2010 PHI v WSH Game 1. A Snooze But A Win

A quote from influencial stright-edge pioneer, Jim Winters, who attended last night's game:

"Seriously. A fucking yawn until the end. Ha!"

Shit, I feel bad for the fans who had to sit through this fucking game but hey... a win's a win. You fuckers at least got that. Boy, what a snooze-fest but I'm not complaining. Roy got 'er fucking done like with his wizardry and left no fucking survivors.

If you lasted through this lopsided dingleberried pitcher's duel between an 0-6 Jason Marquis and possibly the best pitcher in Baseball you had less to cheer at than Rush Limbaugh's parents during his youth in a game that felt just as long. Roy Halladay would pitch into trouble and get out of the pickle unscathed for 7 innings, whiffing 5 , walking 3 and giving up sweet fuck-all in opposing runs. In the 3rd inning Raul Fucking Ibanez knocked in the only run with a line drive off the glove of Adam Dunn to score Polanco who was walked in by the meek Marquis. Marquis, who by the way, went further into a game than he has all fucking year. Good for him. Not really.

Brad To The Bone Lidge came in for a quick 1-2-3-4 (errr) inning earning his 7th consecutive converted save in a row. Fuckin' alright.

Phils win 1-0. Roy Halladay gets his 6th win in a row and Larry Anderson still hates umpires. When they fuck is that man gonna get his own show?

The fucking braves took one from the cubs in dramatic style, pouncing on a useless Carlos Marmol with 1 strike left in the fucking game and a 3 run rally start by Rick Wankeil while down the Mississippi the giants lumped up the sliding cards 6-3. Keeping pace is all the Phils can do and do it well until one of these enemies fails. Go fuckin' Fightin's!

In farm system news, Phillies prosect Tyson Gillies got busted for cocaine possession. Fucking Canadians and their coke problems... Read more on this young chap's journey to the bigs!

Today in Australia it's election day. Voting is compulsory and this man is running for Prime Minister:

His name is Tony Abbott. He promises no big government taxes, no gay marriage and to STOP THE BOATS! Abbott wants to stop refugees from Sri Lanka, Iraq, Sudan and other countries in which it's denizens are escaping imminent murder from seeking asylum in Australia because he's a Christian. He also promises to liquefy the moon, turn the sky orange and have Jesus headline the next Big Day Out.

He also attends this freakish cult gathering every year:

He's probably gonna win. If I have to hear another fucking word about George W. Bush after this fucking clown gets voted in I am going to burn the Sydney Opera House down with my dick while a bald eagle butt-fucks Waltzing Matilda.

Tonight the new phenom Strasburg is on the mound against KK. Seems like every time a hot-shit arm come to town--ala Jiminez, Cain or Garland--we have pretty decent success. Let's hope that fucking trend continues and those 99 mile per fastballs Strasburg's got end up in the laps of a few Phaithful. Fuck new york and America, here I fucking come!


1 comment: