Monday, August 2, 2010

August 1 2010 PHI v WSH Game 3. Polly Want A Smacker?


You know, Followers, the last time an away game ended in 11 innings Placido Polanco got the first of 2 game winning RBIs against the Cards. Cole Hamels was on the mound for 8 of those 11 innings. Do you remember what else happened after that game, F's? The mighty Fightin's also went on an 8 game winning streak, tearing a new asshole into the NL west all the while climbing from 7 games back to 2.5. That was a 11 days ago.

In yesterday's game, Placido Palanco smashed in the game winning RBI in the 11th inning after another fucking runny but strong start from Colio in which he received no fucking decision...again. He's got to be getting frustrated. He fans fucking 10 batters and walks away with a big fat donut hole. Regardless of Cole's rightful W's tap dancing away from him into extra innings, I'm actually rabid to see what happens next.


The Mighty Big Piece was struck down with an ankle injury in the first inning while trying to tag back on second fucking base after rounding but realizing he would be nailed at third. On his return he rolled the fuck out of his ankle, diggin it into the side of the base itself and was helped off the field by Chollie and a Phil's trainer. X-rays on both his elbow (which was hit by a pitch and subsequently the reason Howard was on base) and ankle were taken and both came back negative. Shwwwoooooooo, fucked if we have to deal with this injury. I wouldn't know whether to shit or go blind. He'll probably be day-to-day for a few. Let's hope Gload and Cody Ransom can pull enough turkey-neck to handle 1st 'til then.

After RBI's from The Brown Dominator and Benny Francisco in the first, Hamels worked with a 2-0 lead until the 4th inning when Ryan Zimmerman bashed a 2 run double into the gap in right center. A bit razzed, he then again lost a bit of his composure in the 6th, giving up a fucking monstrous 2-run jack to Adam Dunn, dunn, dunna....2-4 Nats. Boonah.


It wasn't until the top 7th when today's Hoagie of Fucking Heat award eater stepped the fuck up to clunk in his first of 2 RBIs on the day and get the Men back in the game. Ben Francisco would sac fly in the 4th run  later that same inning to bring it all even.

Then this motherfucking guy, Polanco, comes up with the game winning RBI in the 11, as aforementioned in the introductory paragraph (freshman english), fully cementing his receivership of the most illustrious award in the arena of professional sports. Fuck 'em all up, Polly. HOH!


In even more frustrating Brad Lidge developments, he comes into the fucking game in the 11th to 1-2-3 the Nationals. In any other situation with any other player I would feel egg dripping down my face after yesterday's chewing out I gave him in the clog but this is Brad Lidge we're talking about. Yeah, he go it done. This time. I still want him nowhere near the roster come Septemeber 25th. A pitching arsenal of a 92 mile per fastball and his patented slide-less slider does not make my nutsack sing with confidence. Let's hope Contreras gets some of that 2005 magic back. Oswalt's on his side this time.

Speaking of Oswalt, this happened yesterday:


The little southerner was summoned to pinch hit for Contreras cause he's got a reliable bunt. Got it done, y'all.....


Tomorrow there is no Phillies and I going under the knife to get my ass-tail removed in rural New South Wales so I will be taking the next 2 days off. I know, I know "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DOOOOOOOO????!!!" Calm down, will ya? I got this all taken care off. I'm leaving the reigns in the capable hands of TBSS Baltimore correspondent, The Cripple. He'll will be filling out the days with sorrow and misery with his Orioles report. Shit, even cancer patients seem to have better luck that the O's fans this year so Make A Wish Foundation, please take note. He'll also dish up the good Phils words, as well. All is in control.


Wish me luck, Followers. I'll have a full report on my operation, the Australian public health system and few photos of the before and after for you to gander your little swollen peepers at on Wednesday or Thursday. All depends how long they keep my in the gown for....Until then, F's, fuck new york and I guess, go new york. They are playing the braves this week. God, that feels dirty.....fuck 'em both.

You know I'm gonna miss this fucking thing on my tailbone. It's been a part of me for so long. It's never let me down.....


JSIII

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