Good game last night, huh, F's? Looks like a few of the Phillies read yesterday's blog, too. The Howard Slump Tracker surely must've been the impetus for Big Piece to unload that drought breaking roping arc of man sauce into the seats in left-center. That's his first since fucking July 20 something. Brian Schneider definitely read my screed on the parallels of Pearl Harbor and what Kuroda did to us. He was so inspired and motivated by patriotic duty that he fucking bashed his own 3-run load into LA laps. Lastly who could doubt Choochie keeps an inquisitive eye on the Clog as he surely was offended by my ribald crack about the LA stands being filled with at least 60% illegals. It's a shame he had to take out his rage on his prison bitch, Jonathan Broxton, by rocking the poor fella for 2 more runs in the 7th, bringing Chooch's record against the big fuck to 4 for 4. I heard Carlos will also be signing autographs tomorrow before the game while he talks Johnny for a walk around Chavez Ravine. Sit the fuck down!
I don't know who the fuck to give The Hoagie to today....it's been so long since I've had this dilemma! Fuck it. I don't want people to think I'm shacking with the little Panamanian or a catcher mattress. Gotta give it to Piece. It's been so long. Sorry, Schneidy. We love you.
The only person who I think didn't read up was Kyle Kendrick. The rage inducing righty showed nothing but panty-waist-esque traits last night as he fucking walked in the first run of the game, This is becoming somewhat of a trademark for Kendrick as he did that shit 2 starts ago against the nats. Douche moves.
I'm not gonna do what you could easily with this photo...
He fucking held it down pretty cocksure until the 5th inning hump crept up and Kendrick just lost it. A run in the 5th and a 2 run shot off the bat of Bolonie-Loney next inning sat him down faster than the batsman could round the bases. Chollie was off his ass the second he heard "THWACK!" 5+, 7 hits 4 earned. Mediocre. He's gotta be getting as frustrated as we all are at this point.
I've said it a billion times before and I'll say it again. He's pure bullpen stock. He's Chan Ho Park. He's not a starter but could be a decent long man that goes 3 or 4 if the starter gets bombed. I would feel actual confidence in bringing him in for a 6th or 7th inning spell without batting a nut. I'm not saying this will happen but it's just something I'd love to see happen if we keep him around next season. He's not shit he's just inconsistent and I'm sick of the heartburn.
Still he and we get the W. That's all that fucking matter. 8-4. Did the levee break? Not fucking yet. Keep on swinging. Still fucking 3 back...BUT we're 1.5 up on sf in the WC. Sitting tight.
Short shit today, F's. Packing our shit and heading to Melbourne for a few days before we come back to the Greatest Fucking Country On Earth. Remember Christian, Melbourne's sole mets fan? Yeah, I'll be doing a follow-up video on how he feels his perennial underachievers have fared this season. Francouer got bounced today to Texas. Too bad they all can't be traded to a first place team. Christian is gonna get it, just you wait!
Oswalt's rocking the mean-mound today. Last time Mr. Os faced this lot he blanked 'em. I'll just take a series win, thanks. Fuck new york and beat LA and don't start using heroin.