August 29 2010 PHI v SD Game 3. Super Absorbent Maxi-Padres With Wings
The Fucking Fightin's continue their utter domination of the Padres and their foolish camouflage unis at Petco Park with yesterday's sweeping fucking 5-0 victory, a slaughter at the hands of Cole Fucking Hamels, his booyah arsenal and a show of force from The Rooster and Mike Fucking Sweendog. This home-away-from-home win extends the Phils' successful streak bringing their record to 11-1 in their last 12 games in San Diego. To use the vernacular of our times you could say the Phillies own the pads at home. Or you could talk like and adult.
Colio just keeps fucking giving us the goods on his 2010 warpath of sheer dominance. As predicted yesterday, Cole would need only meager-to-moderate run support against SD to finally tack another W onto his season record. He did so with grace and cocksure endurance, shutting out the friars for just the 7th time this season, their 3rd at home. I'm not here saying that 5 runs is fiddle-sticks as far as support is concerned but something tells me that Cole went into this outing looking to throw a fat fucking donut up on that SD scoreline. Hamels K'd 6 and allowed just 4 hits over his large-cocked 8 innings of work. Calling that a gem is like calling a pizza an asshole.
Runs usually come at a premium at Petco and homeruns at even a more premium-er, as we've learned over the course of this fucking series, but not for the fucking big 3 of the game.
The scoring got started with the patented J-roll-wacks-in-Choochie combo in the 3rd but sat dormant as pad's start Clayton Richards worked quietly but effectively until "the dam broke" so speak (or as much as it fucking can at that fucking park) when Mike Sweendog roped a fucking 2 run dinger down the right field line.
In a post-game interview Sweeney attributed his motivation to step up was due to having "the Big Horse in the stable" speaking of Ryan Howard and with Sweendog being a SD native, that it's always great to produce with your family in the crowd. Someone's gotta move those kin to Swarthmore or someplace nice and cozy just outside the city limits. Don't worry, we got beaches and junkies, too. It's just like home!
Sweendog is munching on some serious HEAT tonight!
The Phils struck again in the 8th when Choochie scored on a shitty Ryan Ludwig throwing error and then again in the 9th when this happened:
Yeah, that ball ended up going here:
A welcomed fan snag.....eat shit, Hairston.
Mad Dog came in for the final 3 outs of the game and the Phils and their thousands of fucking Phans that infiltrated Petco are leaving town with an extra kick in their step. Boo. Yah. 5. Fucking. Nothing. Swept.
The asshole braves won again from behind so we're still sitting 2 behind. Let's hope those fucking worthless dicks from flushing can at least show some late season sack and claim a shred of dignity out of their upcoming series at turner field. Part of me thinks that may be asking a bit much from the muts but there's always hope.
So yeah, I've been jamming Megadeth records a fair bit lately. Kind of a rekindling of a childhood headbanger flame. It's really inexplicable but do I really need to explain myself for liking a heavy metal band? This isn't fucking China.
This is a great video of 'Deths classic cautionary tale Devil's Island, detailing the pitfalls of substance abuse. This was Dave Mustaine. In 1986.
Tonight I get to watch the Phils/LA opener at home and sexual mutant free cause they're showing it free to air. Halladay/Kuroda. It's gonna a be a bloody bewdy, you little rippah!