Sunday, August 15, 2010

August 14 2010 PHI v NYM Game 2. The Bullshit Ends

So, Followers, the sun finally sets on the one aspect of mets baseball this season in which they still had bragging rights. The 38 innings of Phillies shutout at citi field this year came crashing down on mets fan like Santana sperm on an un-wanting woman's leg. We finally got our first win in the toilet of biesbol and it came in the form of a giant Slor; Roy Halladay and his 4 hits, zero earned runs and 7 Ks. Not to mention he was the first motherfucking hit of the game and first Phillie to cross the plate in 2010. Seriously, fuck all mets.

The Men in Red Stripes lumped up newbie to the mets rotation, Pat Misch, for 12 hits and 4 runs, 3 of which were NOT earned due to the Shitback Whale they call the mets defense.

Halladay got shit rolling with his 2-fucking-out hit in the top 3rd, leading the way for Rollins and Polanco to both single their way on and send Roy-Boy bounding toward the plate. 1-0. Sheeesh.

In the bottom 4th, Blose Reyes launched a triple off the wall to lead of the inning, leaving Halladay with no choice but to ground out Angel Pagan at 4rd to hold Reyes and then strike out David Wright and Carlos Beltran. U Mad. Still 1-0.

Top 5th J-roll scored on a pansy-play by mets 20 yr old 2nd-sacker, Ruben Tejada, when he threw a sure-fire dp ball into the fucking outfield. No mercy for the weak. 2-0. This feels more like it.

Things got very ugly and interesting when with the bases loaded and 2 outs, Jimmy Rollins lines a grounder to David Wright. This usually would be the sad story of Phils fucking up the bases loaded sitch, but luckily we were dealing with the mets and the ball just rolled between Wright's legs. Awwww, Sad David. 2 score, 4-0. NO MERCY.

KY-Rod, fresh of suspension for assaulting his girlfriend's father, pitched the top 9th and entered the field of plat to a chorus of boooooooooooooooooos. See, mets fans, it feels good, right?

Shit got a little hairy and tense when Mad Dog was called in the end this fucking Halladay masterpiece in the bottom 9th when he loaded the fucking bases. What other fucking way could a mets shut out end but tension and heartburn? You know how this fucking rolls though Followers, he smokes catcher Josh Thole and the streak was kaput. 4-0. Booyah.

Today as I was doing my usual r+r, I came across this video. I was obviously googling myself and one of my old bands when I found it. I used to be in a heavy metal band called Final Plan when I lived in Cleveland. We were pretty kick-ass, lots mongoloid rhythms. When I searched for anything pertaining to them I was directed to this video. Turns out the old guitarist for Final Plan joined a band called Integrity. That's a pretty cool band name. They did a tour of Japan last year and I guess one of their daughter's made this collage video with footage from it. The song in the background is pretty OK but you can see my old friend get down with common Japanese folk. He's the one with the shaggy black hair and metal outfits. Enjoy!!!

So, the game tonight is on fucking ESPN and I'm extremely pumped. I get to watch the game at home, on tv, away from awkward men google-earthing playgrounds. My one reservation with excitement is that we are sending our weakest starter, Kendrick-Smendrick, to the mound in the rubber match of the series. Thus far in the month of August the hot-to-trot Phils haven't lost a series. This fucking serves to be extremely crucial to whether or not September is a month of excitement or a month of dry-humping a beanbag with a flaccid cock. Not saying that this series is the hinge upon such success, I would just like to see us take a strong step into the pennant race with Chase Utley and Ryan Howard's return looming in the next room. Fuck, sending mets fans to the fridge early wouldn't hurt our confidence either. Kendrick got bombed by a weak dodgers side last Tuesday in a poor show of force but Kylie seems to be the type of pitcher who gets off on coming back strong, he's done it before. C'mon, Kendry! I'm trying to band dis Jew-broad here!!!! Joe Pesci could be his hetero-life coach.

Until we meet again, F's, fuck new york and don't let the sun see you crying. BEAT THE mETS!!!!!!!


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