Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Shit That Wouldn't Fly In America Vol. 1

Good morning, Followers!!!! Since there was no baseball last night I'm going to share a few things I've noticed on the Island that would simply not ice the cake back in The States (United, America). Let's get Volume 1 of Shit That Wouldn't Fly In America started with some light-hearted racism!!!!

I guess you could classify this as shit that wouldn't fly in America post 1960. The first international Rugby League player to come from butt-fuck Toowoomba, Queensland was Edward Stanley Brown, affectionately nicknamed "Nigger" because of his dauntingly pale skin tone. You get it, right? Now it doesn't surprise me that the denizens of Toowoomba would use this loving moniker for a fellow Toowoomban without a second thought because most people from Queensland fuck their siblings and hate brown people. What takes most useful adults by surprise is that good ol' E.S. was honored by his lovely hometown with the naming of a stand at the local Football ground after him.


Aboriginal activists, The International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Racial Discrimination and even the United Nations have gone after the town of Toowoomba to get his taken down and the word "nigger" removed from E.S.' tribute. Their response: "Nah, son". In 2008 The top dog in charge of the Toowoomba Sports Ground Trust, John McDonald, said the name would stay. What balls? Even the Mayor of Toobuttfinger, Peter Taylor, has stood in allegiance with the stand, stating that removal would be an offense to a fine footy player and in no way is this sign offensive to Aboriginals. 

                                        Here's Darky!!!

The end to this business came only 24 hours after John McDonald put his foot down about the stand, when he came to an agreement with Sports Minister Judy Spence and declared it to be taken down and have the word "nigger" used nowhere on the grounds. That was fast.

This removal came with great jubilation from Stephen Hagan, the Aboriginal activist who spearheaded the entire campaign against the stand and could be noted as the sole individual responsible for its eradication. His litigious persistence pretty much put a foot in the ass of E.S. Browns' adorable stand. He and his wife, Rhonda Hagan put together a documentary about his plight tastefully entitled Nigger Lovers in 2007. It's prolly on Netflix.

See, ya learn something new about the progressive rest of the world everyday, America! God, it sucks being an ignorant, narrow-minded Yank. Mmmmmmmmmm sad John.... Boy, I have a lot to learn and a long way to go. I guess I can console myself by punching an entire block of this down my throat like a chubby, single 39 year old hair-dresser:

Let's hope The LawnMoyer Man and the boys can do to the mets what Stephen did to this sign tonight, 7:10 pm @ citifield. Until tomorrow, Followers, fuck new york and listen to your heart.


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