Tuesday, May 4, 2010

May 4 2010 PHI v STL Game 2. Ruiz, The Man,The Landscaper Of Sanity

Man, if I've learned anything in the last few days of my newly found fatherhood is that the dad's main role for the first few days of the new little thing's life is basically to be the mother's publicist. I feel like I should've just written a press release with time of birth, weight, hair/eye color, sex, penis size and the like. This thought did actually cross my mind but then I thought that my son deserved better treatment that a waning porn stud coming off an industry HIV scare. I satiate the masses with this photo. JS4, watch out, pricks! Now please back the fuck off. Shit, let's get to the game, I'm tired.

 My main man,Chooch, getting her done with a walk off in the 10th sealing the win at 2-1 over the Cards after a long, impecable day of work for Comcast Hamels! I love this man. Not in a gay way but a hetero as fuck way. I have called this great little man many a complimentary things in the last 3 years. The Dishwasher Of Death or Panamanian Pain just to name a few but now I officially dub him what you the Followers will refer to him as from here on in: THE LANDSCAPER OF SANITY! Todays game report really just belongs to L.O.S. and L.O.S. alone. A night of pitching is fun for the statisticians and GM's but I've got mouths to feed. Hamels and Lidge did have great performances on the mound tonight despite a few outings I would deem "unacceptable" or "girl-shit". The show of force they displayed tonight returned to the look of 2008 by dominating the batters with confidence. I wonder what music Hamel's downloaded using Comcast internet to get him pumped for the game? " Call my grandmother in California...."  Keep it churnng full-on into tomorrow. I don't want to have 2 negative Kendrick entries in a row but I will print out a shot of Kyle and have JS4 do the deed on it if we see what we got last Friday. But enough negativity........

I saw this travisty as I was leaving the Woden Internet Kid Raper Kiosk yesterday. This makes my want to buy a  I <3 MUGABE decal for my new mini-van.  People like this make the world a bad place to live in. This has nothing to do with politics and if you can't see that then you probably have a penis but would consider wearing this outfit:

Tomorrow brings me back to the grindstone of the Naitonal Library of Australia because the little man is coming home finally. Welcome Home Nathan Jr. The Pedophile Photos that I have been promising will be taken and posted tomorrow. I'm sure you understand the delay. Until Then fuck new york and get tased like a man!


1 comment:

  1. I was at the game last night and will tell you that Hamels was in mid-windup when that slob rushed the field. Forget about tasers, myself and my neighboring Phans in 416 agreed that this guy should have been rained on with blackjacks. A very pleasing win for obvious reasons, but I would like to point out the significance of Contreras stint. Hombre dialed it up to hit *98* and was truly nasty. I am confident that he has now earned the 8th inning role and I couldn't be more pleased. I am saying 14K/0BB in 7.2IP? That is your goddam 8th inning man right there and I am not sweating Madson being on the DL in the least.With Lidge looking really sharp, we have hope that the BP stabilizes into set roles. As far as Hamels, great outing, but the hump is still him stringing QS together rather than the stray gem. So, we will see how Kendrick handles what is apparently his last chance in the Phils rotation. Expectations are low, so if we can get a QS, dandy, if not, bye-bye.