Wednesday, May 5, 2010

May 5 2010 PHI v STL Game 3. B(r)ad Penny Gives Up The Goods. 4-0 Booyah From Phils

Good morning , drooling Followers! Here I have for you a piece of modern art so good it makes my taint swell with pride! I saw this on my drive in to the NLA today. Oh you little rascals! This is my post code! I'm not a homo, you faggot! The truly righteous part of this piece is that it sits on the rear wall of this shithole:

This place is called Sprinkle Shanty or something vaguely priveledged-bohemian. The artist in question could have a valid point. It also sits across the street from a Catholic Primary (Elementary) school - which I am in full support of - because I believe in a strong moral foundation for today's youth. This little addage on the walk to school will just motivate them to not snort ice at age 9 like the rest of this shitty suburb's denizens have. To the meat.....

Rumor around the clubhouse was that today's start was make-it-or-break-it for young Kyle Kendrick and it looks like the pressure worked to his advantage. He still undulated a meek demeanor and presence on the mound but picked up his tempo with more confidence in pitching down and in or down and away to batters deep in the count. In and out of trouble was todays bitchin' ride as he continually fell behind but managed to work his way back and squeek past big cock-cannon Albert Pujols and young squirt Scott Freese relatively unscathed. He did give up a few hits to the boys but nothing life threatening. 6 hits, 3 Ks and 7 innings of shut-out baseball. Great shit, Kyley! Now let's see it 2 times in a row, my man!

Brad Penny gave up his first two big humdingers of the season in true ESPN announcer jinx fashion as Polanco and Victorino both went yard on him in todays offensive. Polanco smashed a 2-runner in the bottom of the 4th with Vic on base and then The Flyin' Hawaiian came up in the 7th and shelled one into the right field crowd of maniacs. Lotta of gusto and courage at the plate for the Fightin's today. Hmmmmm,Sad Penny.

Danys Baez pitched a perfect bottom 8th nearly taking Pujols' perfectedly trimmmed beard off with some chin music (salsa) and my homeboy Jose, Jose Quite Contreras smoked it home for us in the 9th for a solid 4-0 win with The Death Dealer on the rubber tomorrow. Shit, I feel good today! The balls tingle, ya mean?

In our clubhouse news, my dear Followers, it is with great pride that The Big Sharkey Show welcomes Philadelphia hardcore legend Chuck Meehan to the staff as our newest contributor. Chuck's been lighting the comments section on fucking fire with his game day analysis since TBSS was just a little thing that nobody read, not the international monster clog it is today.  Here's a photo of him getting fucking serious at a Misfits gig at Love Hall on Broad and South st.s in Philly, 1982. I know we'll keep hearing good stuff from him here and on our new facebook page. You have google, look it up!

The perverts were in hiding today...All of them. there must've been a meeting or something at a playground. an eering calm set over the National Library. I don't like it. Until tomorrow, Followers, fuck new york and please stop running onto the field, dickheels.



  1. Very good. Always a treat to take a game where the starter matchup is stacked in the opponents favor and KK gets to keep his job and earned a pat on the head from his big brother Doc. When Kendrick stops the scaredy cat nibbling and keeps the ball down, he gets the job done. As with Hamels, there still is the question of stringing together decent starts rather and the odd gem amongst the turds and being that Happ aint coming back anytime soon, KK will have to show sac regularly. Happy to see Vic get it going and Polly snap out of it....Doc vs Louse today, taking a 4 gamer vs a team that looks like a lock for the playoffs would really make me happy...broadcaster note: I tuned into the radio broadcast for a few and got a big kick when Larry Andersen sinisterly snarled that Freese "just looks too comfortable at the plate". You can do the translation and what LA meant to say was " knock this fucking rookie on his ass"

  2. Jose Contreras is very quietly starting to be a huge factor for this team.

    Meanwhile, we lost Robin Roberts today. Sounds like good motivation for our pitchers to honor his memory by continuing to step the fuck up.

  3. RIP Robin Roberts. He singlehandedly elevated the 50's Phils to a middling team... The Phils are honoring him on the field in the early going by pounding on Kyle Louse