Monday, May 3, 2010

May 3 2010 PHI v STL Game 1. Big Joe No Blow

Would you look at this shirt, Followers? Really! Look at it! Look what my new uncivilized baby did to this incredibly classy Hawaiian-centric Phils shirt. Now it looks like he spilled  poi all over it! I mean, how dare my 6 hour old infant not have to poise and refinement to hold his very first shit for when my mate (friend is american) Christian is wearing his David Wright jersey? My mother said that at 6 hours I had the bowle control of at least a 12 day old. I guess he doesn't understand yet what kind of man wears a shirt with a printing lei on it. This kid's gonna have to step it up. My mother also says its good luck for the person the first shit lands on. I guess it is my fault anyway because most of the shit got there when I stupidly dropped his daiper on myself. 
Yeah, I know......

Blanton and 3 women

Today saw the return of Big Joe Blanton to the mound from a quick stay on the DL and the results were not as desirable but still a rock-solid dealing. The big bats just didn't have the cock-power in the right place at the right time to stab a win outta the sky for BJ. Beej pitched 6 1/3 innings only giving up 2 runs but got bounced after getting in trouble in the top of the 7th putting 2 men on with 1 out leaving the usual safe bet, Nelson Figueroa,  to try and clean it up. Figs musta forgot the Ajax tonight and let 'em just spray the ball all over the place, loading 'em up for young gun David Freese to come up and smack a 3 run double saddening my young baby's heart. Homers from Werth and Utley lat ein the game lessened the Cards lead to 3-6 but wasn't enough battle back to claim tonight's victory. Whatever, I got no beef with the Cards and think Pujols is as stand up and they come. The work he's done for kids with Down Syndrome is downright insprirational. No, dickheel, I'm not making a joke here. I'm not that big of an asshole. 

Honorable mention tonight goes to Brad Lidge for not making it 31-3 in the top of the ninth dealing some good pitches to a semi-clean inning marred with only a double from one of the Cardinals, I don't care which one right now.

The Big Charlie Manuel Show also rolled out onto the field tonight. Cholly got tossed after arguing vigorously over a  fucking retarded interference call in which Big Joe Blanton got called out for somehow interfering with Card's 1st-sacker Skip Shumacher's abitily to make the play. Somedays I wish Cholly's breath was just cancer in airborn form that only umpires could contract.

 The mets lost tonight, too so I'm not sweating it. Still sitting pretty with 3 more games in this series. Hopefully Hamels can pull a manly start out of the asshat tomorrow.

Today, Followers, I'm posting The Clog from a place that has almost as many perverts as my beloved National Library of Australia; the internet kiosk at the mall in Woden. Here are a few snaps of people on some sort of megan's law list I'm sure:

This old fuck is DEFINITELY looking up some 13 year old boy's address that he got at Boost Juice.

This vest just screams "I finger boys"

Another short one today, Followers. I never realized how much a making a new life could change my own and how much responsiblitiy I would incur by said baby. Yes I did. Until Tomorrow, F's, fuck new york and don't fuck kids.


Pervert photos and shitshirt photo: Big John


  1. Keep the pervert photos coming. I never knew that Australia looked like the OTB.

  2. Never like to see a loss, but I was pleased at Fat Joes outing. It was a relief to see somebody other than Doc pound the strike zone with authority rather than running deep counts and coughing up the 3-ball meatballs. I can't fault Mackinin/Dubee for bringing in Fig being it was Blantons first start back, but alas, Figgys utility arm repetoire didn't include fireman duty. Had Joe got that 3rd out we are looking at 7 IP 2 ER and the game would have been in play. So, I will be at the game tonight and if Hamels can't deliver, he is going to hear it from me, that's for sure. I realize the Phils are still down roster-wise and the Cards are a strong team that should cruise in their lame division, but the Phils need at least a split in this series.

  3. More great stuff, Chuck!!!!!

  4. The 5th paragraph begins with a space, please fix your sloppy typing.