I'm sorry, Followers, but today is gonna be a short edition of The Clog. Really, there isn't really much to pour over when all I have to work with is a 1-0 situation. Cameron Maybin dropped a routine fly ball off the bat of Chutley allowing Exxon Valdez to spill across home plate. That's it. 9 innings, one run. I mean, unless you give a shit about the fact that ROY THE FUCKING DEALER OF DEATH HALLADAY PITCHED A PERFECT GAME!!! then I guess we could talk a bit more about last night's game.
For the 2nd time in Phillies history a starting pitcher has sat 27 consecutive players on their asses, the first being cocksman Jim Bunning in 1964 against the trash in Flushing at Shea Stadium. Now it's time for Halladay to brand his name on the ass of baseball with the 20th perfect outing in the games history, putting 11 K's on the board along the way. Even the Marlins commentators were fucking pumped. It was one of the happiest, proudest moments of my life.
Somewhere around the 5th inning I started to get the feeling that I bothered to get out of bed for another day of awful life for a legitimate reason. I wasn't worried about the "don't talk about it" jinx, who the fuck was I going to tell. By the time the 7th inning rolled on by I knew this wasn't just a shitty team we were pitching to, it was something I might tell my stupid ungrateful kids one day. By the bottom 9th I was, for the most part, shitting my pants. when Wes Helms got sat the fuck down for out 2 I knew, Halladay knew, James Hetfield knew, Everyone knew we were gold. Ronny Paulino gave a good effort to blow one by Castro but forget it, son. Sit. The. Fuck. Down. Glory time.
My boys Castro and Valdez really stepped up, supplying ample defense for the seldom hit ball towards left. I'm not gonna lie, I did begin the game by asking the computer screen "Where the fuck is Polanco? Fuck this!" But I eat every once of crow in front of me as I still stand erect several hours later. This boner signifies a great day in the pantheons of Philadelphia defensive substitutions.
One of the many photographic reasons I will never truly be a Hockey fan
On a sad note, The Flyers lost a fierce battle last night, going toe-to toe with the Chicago Blackhawks in game one of the Stanley cup Finals. A 5-6 loss ain't much for the folks of Delco and Fishtown to cry about but I know these maniacs want a parade. Please keep the domestic calls to a minimum, thank you. I'm not gonna front, I'm not a hockey fan and refuse to jump on the bandwagon but I fully support my Philadelphian brothers and sisters in their thirst for glory. I say if we take Monday night's game we'll be all apples and assholes. Go Floooooooiiiiyers!!!
So on this glorious day, my sweet Followers, I bid you good day and until tomorrow fuck new york and sweep them mets, Brew-boys. They lost again today!