It's a great morning to be a Phillies Phan, idnit? Joe Blanton's studly fucking performance and Shane Fucking Victorino with his macho nut RBIs bring R.A Dorkey and the cryin' muts to their knees in last night's 3-2 victory. The Phucking Magic Number is 2 since the knaves got flogged by the gnats, we seal the best record in the fucking entire league and we bring our winning streak to a happy 11 games. The Testicles are full of power.
So how about Big Joe Blanton, Followers? Aside from those pesky, shitty high sinkers that don't seem to sink and usually end up souvenir's, he's having a pretty fucking good conclusion to his season. 7 inning, 6 hits , 6 Ks and 2 runs on one stupid mistake in the form of an Angel Pagan 2-run meatball bash. Quality start. He's going into the post season with the notion that he is Phucking ready to ball-up for the 4th starter spot. I feel much fucking better than I did say June about him possibly getting the ball in a game 4 situation, at least for a DS or CS situation. He's not pretty but he's effective. He want to win and he wants to fuck. Questions?
Shane VIC-TO-RI-FUCKING-NO woke up on the right side last night with a sexual little lead off homer and RBI double in the 2nd off the knuckler. It's about time this little fucker did something around her, I KID, I KID! Happy to see this little Hawaiian motherfucker get some sank on the wood. He gets the big hits but does he get the big sandwich?
After the Angel Pagan 2-runner in the 4th to tie it up, some beautiful little Panamanian Prince name Carlos Phucking Ruiz came up and said suck my Latino Boner. He smoked a stupid knuckle ball down the fucking right field line to score Raul Ibanez--who singled and reached second on a cock-up pitch-- and took back the lead, 3-2. The lead by the way that would not fucking waver for the rest of the fucking game.
A lead that was kept by plays like fucking Joe Blanton taking a face plant to stymie a Pagan bunt up the 1st baseline by shoveling the ball to Big Piece in time to get the out. What a sick motherfucker.
Also, David Wright is a fucking whinging pussy. In a quote to ESPN he states that the slide by Chase Utley into Ruben Tejada to break up a dp in the was crossing a line, that he thought it was wrong, that it's cool and over but then ends his ball-less quip by saying the team will gun for Utley.
"Chase, he plays the game hard. He plays the game passionately. But there's a thin line between going out there and playing the game hard and going out there trying to get somebody hurt. That's a thin line. Nobody is going to push us around. We're going to have our teammate's back. I think cooler heads prevailed, but we've got to let them know that over on our side we didn't appreciate it and that we're going to go out there and have our teammates' backs. I think our bench let him know. As far as I'm concerned, it's done. We move on. We'll reevaluate the way we go into second base."
I'm sorry, David. Really, Chase didn't mean to kick some dirt into your fellow teammate's vagina. In Philadelphia we play a game called BASEBALL and we play it fucking hard. You can also tell your jawing little buddy Mike Pelfrey to fucking get over it and grow 2.
Chollie better be standing at the stairs of the fucking dugout with a shotgun to make sure these 18.5-games-back-babies don't do anything stupid.
The braves will have already finished their little game by the time Kendrick takes hill tonight. We'll know fucking full well whether or not we can clinch the shit. Phuck it, one game at a time. Keep your head down and play it fucking hard and it will come. No time for the weak, only the true strong cunts. Sorry, I'm watching the AFL Grand Final as I type this. The announcers are quite filthy.
Fuck new york and get the Phuck over it.