Would you fucking lookey here, Followers? Look at me. Its 6am right now and I still feel like I could fucking beat up 8 cops after holding barbershop hostage naked with my dork swinging like a flesh hammer. You know, how normally act after smoking dust with my father.
I waited 5 months for my first game of the season. 5 arduous months of Canberran isolation and struggle. Waking everyday at 10am and then making that futile slog to the gym to toil away the days, pumping iron and resenting my tedious daily grind until I could get back to my home and eat a healthy, nutritious meal cooked for me. My suffering has finally come to an end.
Joe Blanton, who I was honestly not too excited to see toss, had a mildly manish night. His 1st inning eat-shit was bypassed for 3rd and 4th inning batting practice. Anytime your pitcher gives up 2 triples on an inning you feel violated. I needed a shower around the 5th but Joe settled a bit and worked through 6 1/3, only giving up . a decent and fucking typical Sloppy Joe outing.
I, like a tourist or immigrant, had my father take these photos after Raul went yard in the 4th along with Howard and Victorino in the 5th. I am a dickhead but fuck you all, it's been a long stretch of Phils-less nights and I am a father with a blog. I take pictures of everything.
Look at the longing relinquished! I'm still hard...the fucking bells are still ringing in my sack!
The Men had taken a 7-4 lead by the 7th when the mound was handed over to the 'pen who promptly shit bed to make my night of whimsy and drama that much more sensual.
The 3 run lead quickly disintegrated with the cast of odd-ball dingleberries brought in for the 8th inning. Bastardo and Durbin had been brought in for the 7th after Joe-Joe got cold and did an adequate job of only giving up 1 run. The 8th say Contreras and Romero toss like girls waiting for their first period, giving up a run and leaving men on 1st and 3rd for Mad-Dog to come clean up the mess.
Well, he fucked up.... passed ball with a man on 3rd. I think every broad with huge knockers in our section just got up and bounced the second that runner crossed the plate. They fucked up, too.
It was long before our joint Hoagie of Heat winners emerged like a phoenix from the wreckage the very next frame. With 2 outs, Victorino singled with a blooper to center and fucking like a man and then promptly swiped the bag at 2nd Polly waiting to shoot a line drive into right field to reclaim the lead like a methmom in the night.
Mad-Dog came back out since Lidge isn't available til Friday and closed things out like a man with a sack 60 times the normal, getting charged with a blown save and in all in the same night.
Throughout the game it was fucking magical as the crowd would roar in unified hatred at the out of town scoreboard when the Buccos scored against the knaves. I truly felt apart of something greater than myself, like in AA. Tim Hudson can seriously suck a fart out of my ass after losing 5-0 to the pirates. September isn't kind to the weak but let's not get presumptuous. We still have 20 some odd games left and we're only .5 a game up. Still, it feels nice to be looking down on atl in the standings with our dicks flapping in the breeze...FIRST PLACE, FUCKSTICKS!
Contributor Chuck Meehate and I will be at tonight's series closer in section 417. If any Followers want to give us beer or hotdogs or money feel free to stop by.
Fuck new york and my computer is a fuckmouth. GO BUCCOS!!!!!