Friday, September 3, 2010

September 2 2010 PHI v COL Make-up from 5/11. Hurricane Weather To Hit East Coast. Who Gives Shit.


As you have discerned by now, Followers, in an effort to be a fine purveyor of ideas and intelligent thought I've always held myself to a strict policy of remaining articulate as well and crude and truthful. Just for today I say fuck that shit.

COLORADO CAN SUCK OUR BLOATED 9-RUN SMASHING DICKS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? BLANTON PRACTICALLY HANDED YOU THIS FUCKING GAME AND THIS IS THE SHIT YOU FUCKING DO WITH IT? LOLORADO!!! I'm a loser.

I'm not gonna lie, F's I was very upset by Joe Blanton and the lot's performance early on. The 3 run homer to Chris Iannattawhatever in the second definitely made we want to stab every person around me in the neck 8 times. I thought "Of course... the one game those losers from flushing bother to show up to in atl and get a win we have to throw our chance away"  I was tired and cranky from travelling. I'm allowed that sometimes.

I decided to wash away the sorrows by going to McDonalds.

As I was sitting in McDonalds with my wife and son punching burgers and fries down my fat fucking throat the familiar pang came to me. I just couldnt not follow the game.

I took my wife's iPhone from her and dialed up the game and it was the top 7th. I had missed 2 innings walking to Maccas so I felt some shame already.

I'm not even going to fucking bother going through the actual plays of this inning, if you're reading this and dont already know you're a fucking dickhead and not worth the company of my readership.


As I watched this fucking 9 run', 3 homer inning on a tiny screen I, in turn, did a few other things:

1. Scared the shit out of a 4 year old girl.

2. Threw a handful of fries at a man eating on his lunch break.

3. Tried to explain to the man why I was so excited only to be matched with a clever "fucken yank" in reply. Thats fine with me. He probably fucks kids.

4. Said the words "THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT! louder than any human in history.

5. Felt satisfaction. Like a real man does when his team does well.

Sure the bullpen tried to throw it away. Fuck it all. We go to the weak west for 7 games and we walk away with 6 in our flesh-satchels. I am happy and at peace. Until 7:05 pm tomorrow when it all starts over again. I love it.


Also... are you kidding me? HEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! Chase Utley, along with the rest of that fucking beautiful team, is the fucking man. STILL.

More shortness from The Master, kids. I'm going out tonight to drink beer with a mate and watch the footy while scarin'cunts, fair dinkum. In English I'm going to a bar with a friend to watch sports. My wife let me out. Fuck new york and thanks for finally winning. Too bad your ace strained his sexually deviant peck. Still, we're 2 back.

JSIII

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