.....there's always t-shirts.
Yesterday, in an attempt to fill my stupid life with worthwhile tasks while the Phillies weren't on, I stopped by my pal Ralph's screen printing shop, Awesome Dudes. Ralph--being the Ledge-cunt that he is--said I could come down and print a 17 and a Jordan on the back of one of my old Phils' shirts to pay tribute to the 4th best 1st baseman the Fightin's roster was ever graced with, Ricky Fucking Jordan.
Ralph did a bit of clickity-clackity on his little computer like a bearded genie and 5 minutes later I was burning the fuck out of my new Ricky Jordan screen. You see, he's no soft cock or weak animal. Man.
After some spraying and the mashing of some ink and my muscles, I was tossing my shirt down the dryer the wrong way like a dumbshit with the imprinted name and number of a legend. Moments after I stopped being a stupid dickhead, I was the proud owner of a Phucking new/old RFJ shirt. Very large testicles.
I honor of Ralph and his men being Awesome Dudes....This Hoagie's for you.
Tonight I may be attending the Blanton v Dickie series opener. It all depends whether or not my sister's beerpong team made it to the semi's. I guess I'll find out around 2 or 3 pm.
Fuck new york for all your screen printing needs don't Phuck around. Go to the Awesome Dudes. Just keep them the fuck away from your kids.