The title for the edition is only funny is you say it to yourself in the voice of the Dr. Peter Venkman's character from Ghostbusters. Oh yeah and my sign is still much better than the British one above but I love the enthusiasm.
Easy Breezy Halladeezy got his 19th fucking W, tying C.C. Sabathia for most in the league along with setting a career high of 210 Ks for the season thus far, overtaking Tim Lincecum for most in the NL. He was punched around by a pounce early and often approach from the fish but still managed to keep things in control, only allowing 3 runs on 10 shitty hits. Even in his weirdest, funked hour I still keep calm sphincter when he's up there. The man exudes placidity in the face of the enemy, a strong asset to cocks-man such as he. He fucking struck out 9 mahfuckers out there. I'll fucking take it. This win brings us 3 games ahead of atl in the NL east race. Booyah.
What really can I do in Paint that I haven't to Roy this season? I've drawn big dicks, wizard hats, magic shooting from his hands, tears on his cheeks when he gets no runs support...He's gonna have to shoot someone in the fucking face so I can have some new material. I'll just leave this one for now as it is.
Another thick-girthed showing from our Men With Bats, yuck yuck yuck, but that was mildly expected. The marlins, dealing with suspensions from the altercation with Nyger Morgan a few back, had to send up Jorge Sosa--a pen potato-- to start. The fish were hoping for a clean 3 innings. He didn't even get a clean 3 outs.
First fucking inning with 2 down, Fucking Rooster slaps one to right field for a sacker and drives in Chutley only to become RBI fodder for Raul Fucking Ibanez. Iby fucking drills on into the gap in left-center passed the glove of Emilio Bonifacio.
Top 3rd, Chutley comes up to the plate and fucks around for not a second before wasting a ball into the right foul pole, his 15th of the year. NOICE!
Exxon Motherfucking Valdez put on quite the show for us last night with another 3 hit night, driving in 2 ribbies and just jizzing oil all over the joint. That goatee might have something to do with his success. Since this motherfucker has come up black gold all over I'm gonna have give him something for his troubles. He can smell it already, he's been the fucking rock while Roll's been riding pine. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!
Brad To The Bone came out for 1/3 of an inning to scare the living shit out of us by loading the bases and walking in a fucking run before getting yanked. Good thing we have that Cuban lover, Contreras hulking around to get it done. Shit, some 2009 came back for a brief haunting but I'm legitimately not worried as Brad has been on his ass for a few days. Give him a couple more appearances with 6 runs behind him and he'll be as good as gold.
All together The Men managed to get across the plate 10 times to the fish''s 5. I'm not English major but I'm pretty sure that means that we win and they lose.
Well, that's all she wrote this season in Florida for the Phils. With a record of 13-5 against the marlins and 90 runs scored, I think we can call this fish officially smoked.
You want to know the most annoying way to answer the question What's your favorite Megadeth song?
3 games up, motherfuckers. 3 games. Fuck new york and thank you Justin Maxwell.