Wednesday, September 29, 2010

September 28 2010 PHI v WSH Game 2. Top Of The 4th To You, Laddy

Well, Followers. I think we can safely say that we are fucked. Hung-over maybe? Falling 1-2 to the mighty warshington gnationals in the heat of a late September sacksweat-fest......

PSYYYYYYYYYYCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in the voice of Tron) By the way the name of today's edition is joke my wife always says during games. I know what yer thinking. "How did you marry such a shitty comedian?"

The only thing that really sucks about clinching your division a week before the regular season ends in having to watch your pine-riders finish the year out for ya. Mr. Bocock and sons did a great job out there last night but honestly, who gives a shit? Most of these duders will not see the show otherwise so we're not even glimpsing the future. Throw 'em a bone for the season is owned. Poor Ben Francisco. The grass misses hm in Cleveland. Oswalt still got the ball and the mound for 5, giving up 2 hits and 1 meager run to a full strength (sorta) side.Apart from Roy's ability I think his brash anti-media sentiments go a long way in this city. Motherfucker hates reporters and rightfully so. The start of the season has the man reading of his own washed-up existence on a sub-.500 team. Now look where the Phuck he's sitting. You know if he could piss on someone at the Houston Chronicle mother's tea and toast he would.

Now that Os has had his last dance for the reg the rotation is fucking set. 1-2-3 ROY TOY, KING COLE aka COLIO and BIG BUCK PHUCKING HUNTER. This, if anything, should be interesting. By interesting I mean blood curdling for any other team to have to face. Fuck, I got tickets to game 2 of the DS. See you Phuckers there!

So, I've been in Ireland for the last 30 hours and I'm into it. Lots of green shit and drunk gibberish. It reminds me of nowhere. It's it's own entity, separate in every way, especially in respect to the rest of the world. Kind of like Fishtown. It's the only country that rivals Italy in Ancestral T-shirt Boasting By Dickheads.  I'll break down my initial impressions of the place in the simplest of terms; the old pros and cons.


1. Thin Lizzy were from here. This is a great stat to have on your record. It almost negates Enya, Bono and The Procalaimers. Who were from Scotland. One time my old boss asked if I like "The Boys From Ireland" like a real dickhead. I was stumped. "Thin Lizzy?" I replied. He was no stoked. U2 fans are serious fucking retarded weirdos.

2.Everyone is drunk and makes no sense. This is awesome because you can basically say anything to anyone and nod your head.

3. The Beer. I know, I know this is fucking cliche's as balls but it really is god fucking brew and with the women they got running around this village it oughta fucking be. I had one of those thick, dark fucking beers that nerds like to wear the t-shirt of in Boston. It's very good on this side of the big ocean. I'm not saying pond.


1. Everyone here is Irish. Yeah, I get it, You like to drink a lot and sing and then poop your pants. It's cool in The Wire and in breakfast cereal but when you're surrounded you just have to fucking take a knee about every 25 minutes and hide in a bathroom.

2. No Americans. This fucks up any country for me. They wouldn't call America the greatest nation on Earth if it wasn't true. Why not import some Americans to every country and see what happens.The Earth might kick ass someday.

3. No Baseball. This also fucks up anything and any place for me. Now, don't get me wrong. These Irish are hard cunts and play very aggressive sports like Gaelic Football and Rugby but I still could never live in a land without the Great American Pastime like Australia.

Let's hope tonight we can squeak one more win outta the bench to claim fully home field through the duration of the post-season. Who am I kidding and what the fuck am I worried about? Get back to work, Followers. I know I take up too much of your precious time. If you'd like to call me on your break email me. It's 5 dollars a call and you must host.

Fuck new york and vodafone is a fucking dumpster full of used maxis.


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