Wednesday, June 23, 2010

June 23 2010 PHI v CLE Game 2. J Fucking Roll Is Really Back, We Were Serious

                                I can't even fuck with this photo it's so perfect

The taxi was seriously 5 minutes away. I had just about clicked the 'PAY NOW' button on the Quantas website for tickets to every one of the pitchers in this game's house to burn effigies and murdering their pets on their lawns while naked and howling drunk. I probably would've gone to my parents house for dinner, too.

Just as this nightmarish fantasy was about to come to fruition I click back to Jimmy Rollins taking aim on a Kerry Woods low fastball and sends it FUCKING SOARING INTO THE SEATS IN LEFT* RIGHT FIELD FOR A FUCKING 2-RUN WALK-OFF HOMERUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! J-ROLL IS FUCKING BACK!!!!!!!!!!

         here it comes, Roll, you're the proud father of a 2-run fucking walk-off homer!!!!!

But, really it was awesome. After the ping-pong match I'd been watching for the last 3 hours I really could hug Roll for the happy ending we've been missing all season. If that fucker Shin-Soo Choo hit another fucking homer off us my brain was going to liquefy. That fucker can hit!

End Result: 7-6 Phils over The Tribe. That's why they call us "The Fightin's". That and the violence.

A word on Kyle Kendrick........

He's a fluke pitcher. One start he's laying down the law like lightning from the Gods and the next he's shitting himself on the mound like a neurotic Jew putting a condom on for the first time. He's not a pitcher of Major League caliber. Sorry, he isn't. I liken him to a little league pitcher that gets "called up" to pitch in the juniors and fans 8 cause he's throwing so slow that it fucks up the older player's timing. Then he gets the call from Coach Skay again a week later and gets beaten like blind junkie for everything he's got. He's not a starter and certainly not a pitcher I want taking us into July. Amaro better be straight up lying to us when he says he's not planning on shaking anything up in the clubhouse because we need another starter. We just plain fucking do.

Really, though, pitchers can get lit up but we've been getting FUCKED UP by teams when the 'Pen is involved. I  honestly hope Chad Durbin's hammy is OK and J.C. Romero remembers that the object of the game is NOT to let ANY runs cross home plate pretty fucking soon. We're starting to bloom offensively. I can't fathom a pitching slump after all this time drowning in the offensive shark tank.

On a posi-note, how about fucking Mike Zagursky? He looked pretty good with some big outs in the 8th, right? Maybe he'll blossom into something like Big League material while back in that 'Pen. Could come in handy, I think.


I'm going to get drunk n the middle of the day today. This deserves celebration. It's Rollins Jersey Week.  Fuck new york and fuck atlanta and fuck all! If there are typos in this post it's because I don't care right now.

JSIII

*blow me.

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