Well finger me silly, Followers, it looks we got a season going on again! There are almost too many positive things to point out about last night's fucking 7-1 victory against everyone's favorite foe, the McYankers. Kyle Kendrick gets a W, Shane Victorino gets intentionally walked, Polanco makes a great catch into the stands in the face of some Yankees fan cunt and we smack in 4 runs in the top 9th.....what the fuck is this, Chernobyl? I fee like I would need hands with 7 fingers on them if I were to recount the pros of last night but only if I were that type of asshole to count on his hands in conversation. I am. Shit..... Nick Swisher even popped up to end the game. It was like when you get a piece of chocolate cake handed to you while getting a blowjob from Anne Hathaway. You know, when that happens.
I was honestly shitting my pants the entire game waiting for Kendrick to start throwing batting practice but all the while I really neglected to take in what a killer performance he was pulling out of his ass. He went 7 strong allowing only 4 hits and striking out 3. This, my friend, is a quality start.
My little Hawaiian lover-boy, Shane Victorino had a huge night, so huge in fact that he was intentionally walked in the top 7th to get to an easier option in Utley of all fucking people. If that isn't a big flashing red light that the Ol' Chut may be injured and not divulging I don't know what is but I'm still proud of the fear Victorino instilled in Pettite. A base hit in the top 4th that eventually put him across home plate from an RBI single by Howard was the first score of the night and he just continued to roll over Andy Pettite with a 2 run jack into left in the top 5th. All-in-all a stand out performance by the little guy who continues to come through nicely, if not sporadically, to get jobs done.
Here's a still shot of just after the amazing grab Polly snatched away from some tramp in a 90 dollar yankees casual top. I think she was happy with her consolation prize.
The top 9th was like a workshop in baseball fundamentals as every batter in the line-up reached or knocked in sacrifice runs starting with Exxon Valdez banging in Choochie after his lead-off double. 4-1. Joba worthless Chamberlain walks Victorino and Utley loading them up for Polly who smacked a deep fly ball to center scoring Valdez easily. Howard does the same to bring in Victorino. 6-1. Bye-bye Jo-Jo.
After Damaso Marte is brought in and out quickly to get not much of anything done, the familiar Chan-Foe Park is called in only to immediately give up a double to Ibanez. 7-1. Ben Francisco lines out into Ibanez to end the inning on a confusing note. The Yanks saw what happened and all filed off the field but the umps had no idea what the word was. In a display of true cowardice they buckled to the Yankee sway and called it an out without review. The real issue I'm taking with this is that they never made the call during the actual play, they just saw these overpaid wankers walking off the field and ruled it so. Shit, if the untouchable faggots in navy say it's so it must be. Weak wimps.
Chollie giving HP ump Tom Hallion what for
Jose, Jose Quite Contreras made a killer behind the back grab to snake away a line drive from Curtis Granderson in the top 8th. That must've felt good against the team that rid themselves of him under the misconception his better days were over. Utility is a bitch and we found a way to make him more than effective. Eat that crow.
J.C. Romero closed it out easily taking A-Cup, Cano and Swisher down with ease. Let's keep the victory train running back to Philly for the series with the Twins. The fans need a good pound 'em up weekend after the last few shithouse, soul destroying ones we've had to endure. This will be no easy feat but if we take 2/3 from the McYank is the bronx we sure as hell can take the same from the Twins at home. Besides, I'd like to continue liking the Twins some what. I may have trouble with that after they shit in our hot tub so let's keep it civilized. Until tomorrow, F's, fuck new york and fuck everything yankees have become.
P.S. You know Chase Utley is fucking with you all, don't you? Voodoo, really? You really think the Phillies would let something this coo-coo for cocoa puffs out of that fucking locker room if it were actually true? Shit.....not MY FOLLOWERS!