Here's the situation, Followers....... Top 9th, 9-4 Phils. Jose Contreras closed out the 8th in 3 pitches so he's called back for finish. Instead he gives up a 2-run home rune to Jim Thome. I don't think they're gonna give him a standing ovation tomorrow, me thinks. 9-6.
Then Brad "to the bone" Lidge gets the call to finish the job. Contreras had a rough on so Lidge has to get 3 outs. He gets 2. He also gives up a game tying 2-run jack to Joe Fucking Mauer to....... TIE THE FUCKING GAME!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????!!!! WE HAD A 5 RUN LEAD 10 MINUTES AGO!!!!! Whatever, we can get that last run in the bottom 9th.
We don't. Extra innings. Fuck the universe.
So, Followers, up next in the cavalcade of shit is Chad Durnbin. He has to be able to hold them for 3 fucking innings. Sure the bottom of our batting order is due up but we've got the home field! We can get that 10 runs before you give up Drew Butera first home run ever, right? Fuck you, Durbin, in the ass....... 9-10, Twins.
OK, I know, why are we talking about another one of our shitty pitchers? How did we even make it to the 11th? BECAUSE ROSS, BUNDY, GLOAD HITS FUCKING 2 OUT 2 STRIKE HOMER TYING THE FUCKING GAME!!!!! Alright!, there is NO WAY we are gonna give this game up now! We are gonna battle back! What a great Sportscenter!!!! I can't wait.....for Danys Baez to walk Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau and then allow Delmon Young to Single and Matt Tolbert to double driving in 3 runs, completely deflating any fucking air we had the Philly tires. Fuck your face, you worthless faggot.
We go down weakley in the bottom 11th. 10-13. A wasted fucking day.
I hope you all get pushed into lake full of Piranha. Fuck you so hard that your principals from grade school feel it. I can't even feel my hands right now...
Fuck new york and I think we know who gets the other end of the double-dong. With a kiss. Let's go get 'em tomorrow, boys.
Love, Your Pal....JSIII