I read a few funny quips pertaining to last night's game. The first one is from contributor Chuck Meehate and it made me smile.
"Pounding these chumps even when they don't have to!"
The next one come's from my friend JT. It made me smile and also made my penis shrivel the way a truly awful should. It was delivered just seconds ago via his Bring You A's Game facebook account.
"Beating the braves is just, um, BEACHY!"
What an asshole, right? I kid, I kid, Followers. JT may need to work on his word play but his sentiments are Phucking echoed in my macho brain as are Chucks. Beating the braves is fucking awesome and don't let anyone else fucking tell you different. Especially when Kyle Kendrick is on the mound. It's even more insulting.
He did Phucking great by the way, F's. Maybe it was the no-pressure situations of facing a team clinging to a wc play-off berth while we have our minds on bigger twerps. If it weren't for The Polish Chef: Mike Zagurski and his half-assed Nate Robertson impersonation, Kyle's fruits would've gone unfettered. Still, 11-5 ain't fiddle sticks, laddy.
You know after J-roll bashed the dick off of Mike Dunn's little butter-ball I was expecting to turn to facebook for a flurry of wildly sexual exclamations and nuptial offerings thrown Jimmy's way. Not shit, nothing. If you internet warriors are gonna sleep on this awesome cockular feat we certainly are fucking not!
James, you are now the first motherfucking Phillie to be honored with the soon-to-be-dubious-and-revered SALAMI OF SEX award. If you were in bed with a woman you would be called a cocksman. Here you are simply the man. Tip o' the hat to ya.
OK, F's, I have to go. I don't think I have to explain with shit like this littering the countryside:
Tonight Vance Worley gets the start. Should a bloody bewdy. Fuck new york and I enjoyed Beaches, starring Bette Midler.