You fucking know that if Danys Baez hadn't seen the fucking mound in this game we would've walked out of atl with 98 wins on the season. Not that I'm discontented with the 97 heads we've rolled by any means, I just find it funny how Chollie place our arguably worst pitcher in the game when he did. I mean, he really couldn't have gift-wrapped it with less subtlety, my man. If Oswalt had stayed in for 1 more inning the game would have ended with something like a 7-4 outcome in our favor. Silly Bagner giving up 3 runs to Exxon Valdez and Benny Francisco was a decent enough consolation and really, who gives a splat? They have their own hole to dig now.
One thing is for sure. Danys Baez is an over-the-hill lump of poopy-doop. He just ain't got the goods no mo'. If he gets a second of playing time in the post-season you know Chollie wishes suffering upon his great supporters. Baez' contract is basically fucking us into an expensive Cuban paperweight because not a single team will take this man next year. Good golly, Ms. Molly.
But shit, let's not fret. The regular season is over and the PHUCKING PHIGHTIN'S have the best record n the competition, the first time in franchise history! I know that seem retarded but, yeah, it's true. Just another black mark smudged off the permanent record. Pride-filled me.
The NL play-offs were finally fucking delineated thanks to the weak padres tanking it to sf in the final hours of need. This pits the knaves and giants together in a series that no-one really gives a shit about because that series will be and easy walk-over for the master's of the microbrew. That's just my prediction, though, F's. The giants have enough trouble scoring runs on their own without me jinxing them. Meanwhile, we have the dickbags from the Queen City to contend with. Apt.
I see no good coming to the red in the post-season if not only for karma. Boastful second basemen and dirty, bitch-fighting starting pitchers litter their line-up card like the fucking streets of Camden. Maybe Joe Morgan will at least be walking around naked in the locker room challenging anyone within swinging distance to a (flaccid) sword fight.
I'm in Dublin today and then back to the fucking U.S. of A. Thank God..... I'm getting sick of strangers and new things. I'm sick of broadening my fucking horizons, I didn't just graduate college. I want fucking baseball, my house, bud lite, Imperial Pizza and proper English for the next 6 months. I will not tolerate culture.
I have a little secret, Followers OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! It will be waiting for you all in the pages of the Philadelphia weekly this Wednesday. Are you excited to read you're fearless and sexy Editor's words splashed across pages usually filled will articles about community gardens, vegan tampon alternatives and 3rd tier independent hip-hop? Get horny cause here it fucking comes!
Fuck new york and enjoy the next few days. This shit hits it on Wednesday night.
JSIII
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